Sometimes the Best Way to Follow, Is to Wait
Sometimes just starting is the hardest part
of a writing project. Ernest Hemingway
said it best, “Writing is simple, you simply sit down at a typewriter and
bleed” At least sometimes that is what it feels like. I have not written much
the last three years for several reasons.
Went thru several prolonged health issues, then five days a week I take
care of my twin seven year old great- grand- daughters from 5:45 AM till 5:30
PM. Most days they are in school from 7:45 AM till 3:45 PM, which makes it a
lot easier than it was before they started school. Last but not least I seem to
be going through some form of dementia and can’t stay focused to read or write.
There is plenty I would like to write
about, but lately my diet seems to be my main focus. Since Easter last year I
have lost fifty pounds. I intend if at all possible to lose another eighty
pounds which would put me at two hundred and twenty pounds. That would mean I
could skydive again if I so desired. I did it for ten years when I was in the
Army and am a licensed Instructor. I have no desire to instruct anymore, just
would like to make a few jumps and accomplish some unfinished goals I had
before I was forced to quit, because of a compressed back. My ultimate goal
would be lose one hundred and seventy-five pounds which is what I weighted when
I got out of the Army.
Losing the weight is not that big a deal. I
had lost ninety pounds before I had my heart attack in January 2004. My goal
back them was to lose one hundred and thirty pounds. Over the last fifteen
years I managed to find every one of the lost ninety pounds. With the ninety I
lost back then and the fifty I have lost now I have more than achieved my goal.
I have lost a total of one hundred and forty pounds. Hopefully this time I can
do it without having a heart attack.
At almost seventy-three and having been
dead technically twice already, as time carries on and having been fifteen
years since my last heart attack I know the chances of having the final one are
very imminent. Over the years I have
seen a large number of friends in much healthier condition than me depart this
life. In spite of being morbidly obese my blood pressure averages around one
hundred-fifteen over sixty-eight. My cholesterol is very good and my heart
problem is that I have an arrhythmia heart condition. I have a defibrillator to
take care of that though. My main problem now is that I was diagnosed as a Type
II diabetic about three years ago. That means I take insulin. My doctor told me
if I lose another twenty pounds or so she may be able to take me off my
insulin. That would be a great blessing to me. Oh yes I also am an Agent Orange
recipient and have COPD which make exercise a virtual no-no.
My main goal is to sort of go with the
flow and not do anything to rock my health boat. I have already beaten the odds
a bit. My grandfather was sitting in his
favorite chair looking out over the lake at our family cabin in the Boundary Waters
Canoe Area of Minnesota which is right on the Canadian and American border. He
asked grandma to get him a cup of coffee and when she came back with it he was
gone at seventy-seven. Grandma lived
another fifteen years and one day was going to the grocery store with my Aunt.
My Aunt called to see if Grandma was ready and she said yes. My aunt walked
down got the car out of the garage and pulled up in front of Grandma’s and
honked. They lived across the street from each other. Grandma did not come out
and when Aunt Frances went in to check on her. She was lying in the floor with
her coat over her arm. My Dad died
stepping out of the shower in the morning at seventy-two and a half which is
only a few months older than I am now. He died before he even put his teeth in. It
has come to mean to me the same thing as the old west saying about dying with
your boots on. For many years I didn’t realize I had an obsession about taking
a shower with my teeth in. One day I got out of the shower just to put them in.
I realized I had a problem with it. My Dad was always very concerned about his appearance.
It used to tickle him when we would go out to dinner together and they would
offer me a senior discount and not him. He had a full head of brown hair till
the day he died. I was bald and gray in my thirties. That was not all bad. I
got senior citizens discounts from my thirties on. It is clear to me that I am
here only by the grace of God. The testimony also explains why I get a bit
anxious around Easter and April Fool’s Day.
It took me about twenty five years from
the time I got out of the Army to pack on the additional one hundred and
seventy-five pounds the first time and fifteen years to find the ninety pounds
I thought I had lost. You will notice by the title of my
testimony I thought I was approaching the end of my life. I had always
thought I would be here at the second coming because of my experience in
January 1967. That is still my hope and dream, but for almost a three year
period I could not even walk the four hundred feet to our mail box and back. I
believe the hill I was walking down at the time of my dream/vision or whatever
you want to call it is only a few hundred feet from the end of the drive to my
house. The neat thing about the fifty pounds I have lost so far it has enabled
me to be able to walk again.
The date of Pentecost this year is June 9th
and by then, with the changes I am making in my diet to lose weight, I may able
to walk to that point on the hill where I believe I was in my dream/ vision.
Like I said in the testimony, I saw me walking down the hill, so for me to have
that experience I need to be able to walk.
On April Fool’s Day this year my great-
grand- daughters came in the door and they were excited. I said what is the
matter and they said the moon is red. As a bit of an end time fanatic that
little prophecy about stopped my heart. Matthew 21:16 makes clear that God speaks
his wisdom through the mouths of children. When he spoke that verse he was
dealing with the doubtful leaders of his time. We are in a much similar time in
this day and age. If you follow the link you will see why I got a bit nervous.
I have been going through some changes
lately. I started taking care of my great-grand-daughters because I was
convicted by a verse in the Bible. In First Timothy 5:8 it says that if one
will not take care of his own, he is worse than an infidel. After looking up
infidel, I had to decide if I believed the Bible literally or figuratively. If
you take it literally, what God says is what God means. When you believe it figuratively
you know what God says but use your own interpretation so you do not have to
actually abide by what it says. The Bible says a man is not to even trim the
corners of his beard. If that is the case shaving is definitely wrong. We are
not to take marks in our skin. I have a tattoo. Some people argue those are Old
Testament verses, yet they believe in creation and deny science. Which way is
it. We all will explain ourselves someday, but His Word says what it says.
I have always felt I was or am a literal
Christian, but found sometimes it is easier to go the figurative route. In
reality I do not think we have that option though. If I did not step up to the
plate on this one, my great niece was stuck in government housing with the
roaches and the druggies. My stepping up to the plate afforded her the chance
to get out of that circumstance. She now has her own home bought and paid for
with no house payment, something I can’t say. She also has a decent car with no
payment. I have tried to convince her that living debt free is the key to
getting what you want in life. It may be a struggle at times.
The Good Lord opened the doors to
accomplish all this. Recently though I came to the realization that I am not
going to live forever. I told the Lord you opened all these doors but what
happens if something happens to me. She will not have a babysitter and will
probably lose her job. How do I get over that hurdle? Shortly after taking that issue to the Lord I
was looking on YouTube and saw that people could make good money selling
T-shirts. It is something she can do online out of her home.
After making that discovery I started
focusing on how to start a business, I have been self-employed most of my life.
I have already ordered my first T-shirts of which I gave most of them away, but
it has given me the experience that I may be able to set it up so she can take
it over if something happens to me. I am not focusing on individual shirts, but
shirts for groups that might order 50 or more shirts. It will take a while to
build it up, but a couple decent orders a week could make a decent living. The
trick is to find several niches and come up with designs they will like. So far
I am into trucking, politics and religion. All three can order multiple shirts
or designs and have the potential to have a large turnover of reorders which
will build the income. There are hundreds of possible niches. The reason for
focusing on niches is you build your sales and only have to keep a small amount
of inventory which is a big plus.
At least it is giving me the opportunity to
stay busy and meet people. It is getting me out of the rut my life was getting
into. A preacher I used to listen to years ago had the saying, “A rut is
nothing more than a grave with both ends kicked out that goes on forever.” So
maybe it will give me a chance to stay busy till it is planting time for me.
The longer I walk the road of life, the
more I see that if we follow the Word of God literally the more chances God has
to open the door for us. I went through a period of life where I tried to do it
all on my own and lost everything I had, my family, my house, my business and
even my car. When I got as low as I could go and finally decided to turn it all
over to the Lord things started changing.
In less than three years I had it all back plus some.
My life was at a point that I started
tithing my time to the Lord studying His Word as I had nothing else to give. I
found several verses that changed my life. The first was in Malachi 3:10. In it
God literally challenges us to trust him, and he will do so in such a manner we
will not be able receive it all. Another verse makes clear that we have not,
because we ask not. In Joshua 1:8 it makes clear if we follow His Word we will
be Blessed. I do not think he meant figuratively. Finally he makes clear in 1st
John 2:27 that he will teach us all we need to know.
How we should go about our lives is made
clear in Proverbs 3:5-6, we are not to rely on ourselves or our judgement but
on God’s direction. It is hard to do and sometimes requires a lot of patience.
Sometimes just sitting and waiting on God to give us direction is the best
direction to go. He will be in time, on time, every time. Plowing ahead without
his guidance can really undo the opportunities that God puts in our path. I can testify to that totally, which is why I
have the Spirit of Jonah on the side of my vehicle. I think many of us miss the
opportunities God would like to give us because we are too busy doing it our
way.
